people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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