I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
