I murdered the dance floor call the cops
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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