i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
