Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
