I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
