This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize