Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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