They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
This is not my ceiling
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
