You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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