Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
