Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
