So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
i think i just lost a toe
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
