I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
