Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds