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• (937): View more from Ohio

  How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?

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• (415): View more from California

  Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  Im watching someone hooking up in the library

  (970): View more from Colorado

  procrastination at its finest

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?

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  17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.

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• (408): View more from California

  we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.

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  These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me

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• (561): View more from Florida

  I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again

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• (512): View more from Texas

  my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.

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• (716): View more from New York

  I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch

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