big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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