Texts From Last Night

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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.

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  (336): Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me. http://tfl.nu/79qg
  Replies (57) Good night (4751) Bad night (1345)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy

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  (973): pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy http://tfl.nu/hiwh
  Replies (10) Good night (1364) Bad night (2990)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.

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  (316): No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here. http://tfl.nu/05bz
  Replies (71) Good night (920) Bad night (6241)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"

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  (631): Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore" http://tfl.nu/gl8n
  Replies (36) Good night (7016) Bad night (1060)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.

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  (901): we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly. http://tfl.nu/dwqa
  Replies (58) Good night (1743) Bad night (14714)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...

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  (315): and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame... http://tfl.nu/05iu
  Replies (8) Good night (2677) Bad night (1093)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?

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  (510): He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing? http://tfl.nu/wg1w
  Replies (1) Good night (1729) Bad night (796)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue

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  (859): I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue http://tfl.nu/ia6b
  Replies (18) Good night (4281) Bad night (2092)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.

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  (484): I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game. http://tfl.nu/ixaa
  Replies (8) Good night (1478) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?

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  (817): I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help? http://tfl.nu/m7i3
  Replies (2) Good night (1004) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests

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  (310): Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests http://tfl.nu/hq9w
  Replies (0) Good night (687) Bad night (410)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.

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  (336): Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net. http://tfl.nu/v16i
  Replies (0) Good night (499) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex

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  (925): Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex http://tfl.nu/xxak
  Replies (1) Good night (1129) Bad night (281)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.

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  (843): I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea. http://tfl.nu/jdvw
  Replies (1) Good night (350) Bad night (540)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.

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  (816): He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off. http://tfl.nu/akk3
  Replies (1) Good night (714) Bad night (371)

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