Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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