Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
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All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
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Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck