I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
