she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
