I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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