I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
