dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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