North Korea, Best Korea!
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize