4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
