I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
