Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
