Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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