Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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