Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
