youre lurking in front of me
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
