It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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