She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
