My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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