i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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