everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
