even my farts smell like vagina
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
