I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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