Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
