I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
