Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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