when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Who died my cat blue again?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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