I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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