What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
