That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
But break dance skills will only take you so far
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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