I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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