We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
