They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
