I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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