i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
