Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
