is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
