I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
