My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
