i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
did you just send me my own nude
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
