Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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