im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
