there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Randomize
