If that was your dad, he is hot
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Randomize
