he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
