guys are not supposed to queef...right?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
