You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
