Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
